The Last Freezing Months of Spring

The beginnings of Spring in New York City are often felt like the last great gasp of winter’s icy expanse, and its overwhelming spread of bone chilling grey cold that can only come from the likes of an addict trying to gobble up all of their mind numbing wants for the fear that they are disappearing. Winter in March is a tyrant of frigid dictatorship. It comes without warning when a few warm days in February or even the beginning of March delude us into thinking that dressing a little less armored is the way to go. It comes like a great breath of immobility, and while it has moments of pain, it re-awakes us the reality that we must strive to survive and be awake to life before we are awarded the perfect beauty of the fertile spring in its warm breezes and tingling temperateness. We need these months to prepare us for the fact that we have stay moving, and they also give us serious gratitude for that moment when spring finally gently puts its hand on winter’s cold shoulder and tells it it’s all going to be alright. That winter can take a knee, and everyone will quietly be excited for its brisk and inspiring return next year.

Assemblage work in progress, untitled, 5’x7’, mixed media, 2023

Before I had returned to New York to embrace this last throw of Winter’s bones, or it’s final fucking sigh of exhaustion, I was in Winchester VA for a residency at the Peter Bullough Foundation . The work I made was steeped in ideas of transition and creating spaces that try to articulate points on the timelines of life that have melded together in a moment of visualized shift. Some portraits of my mom in her memory care home, some abstract works that are the process of building upon representational imagery from old WWII photos of my grandfather, to Queer porn and erotica, to images from classic supernatural films, to landscapes, dance movement abstractions, to just pure atmospheric painting and spacial processing. I experienced both warmth and cold, closeness and isolation, beauty and strangely deranged chaos, deep moments of acceptance and empowerment in community and moments of fear and ignorance in perception. It was a whole world of vibes. I feel like the work that came out is a good chunk of moments in a journey forward with my practice and life, awarding, a sense of bookmarking in a process toward work that I am moving towards. Art in the full catalogue of one’s life, one’s contribution to the grand we of the art gods, to the fabric of society’s creative energy and perception, is a life long process. I have learned this more and more as I have aged, as looking at works that clearly had no sense of my own perception of duration or continuity, as well as those that flowed from a place of the spirit and the longevity of artistic purpose, have all showed me that the birth of art happens in waves and in long slow periods of development towards those days where we suddenly see the thing we have hoped for, whether we knew it or not, materialize after we have both consciously and unconsciously pushed toward it for unforeseen periods of time. This was one of those experiences where I felt that. Where what was created was thus a part of this longer process and not me as an artist trying to show that I know I am creating the work that I shall be matched with in moments of history, and yet maybe I will, it’s yet to be seen. The impermanence and the liminalness of it all it is quite comforting sometimes.

What’s Lays in the Distance, 24”x18”, painting on linen, 2023

Transfixation, 15”x11”, painting on paper, 2023

Back in NYC, working my way through the cold last gasps of winter, there is much to do in the studio, there are some very major new pieces of news to share, and there is a time now to hone in some things I am very excited to work on. While I give winter a bad rap here, I actually love Winter so very much. I love it’s affirmation of life in the absence of warmth. I love the deep cold breathes in the morning that open the senses and the energy deep inside of me, connecting me to the cosmos and also, as I have found in time, to my own ancestors in Norse and Celtic mythologies. I make it a duty now in winter, since thinking about this over the last few years, to love that icy breath of Odin and the hidden Green Man that continues to walk alive through the snow slowly bringing shift. I look at the failed notions of my ancestors in their shaping of the world, at the resentments and misguided energies they perhaps harnessed, as well as the beautiful and deeply spiritual aspects, and I continue to try and reimagine myth and possibility moving forward in my work and life.

I have some humor on deck for another day, but I guess I’ll leave this all here as I hear cars drive by on Graham Ave. imagining everyone walking by staring at their phones wrapped in entire arctic cold suits on the weird frigid loins of spring.

Monochromes

A series of monochrome abstract works on paper from the studio. 2022

Getting Back into the Studio

Thinking about power structures, the truths that have always existed underneath the white washing of society, symbols in action of uprising, burning away the armor that has corroded society. Thinking about the complexity of the spirit, the inner workings of the levels of vitalization that have gone on for centuries against the structure, to let an air of creative honesty and an ability to turn the lens anywhere but the center of fear and power, sometimes usurped and manipulate, but always with a deeper energy shining deeper and darker and more powerfully through the attempts at washing the veneer. Thinking of the foundations rupturing back up to tear away the unwelcome armor that tries to hold itself above, it is just a layer of time to be disintegrated. Beyond poetics, I have been in the studio touching some things vital, letting the past months start to bubble out and out and onto the page. Paint ink wax pencil charcoal spray paint all dancing and having intense conversations. Alchemists and warlocks touching the very real and tangible moments of the present.

The Century Old Man Who Will Not Get Out of His Own Way, Work In Progress, 30”x22”, 2020

Let It Burn, Work In Progress, Sum Ink on Paper, 30”x22”, 2020

Helm Studies, Work In Progress, 30”x22”, 2020

A New Year to Behold.

Sometimes the last few years seem like a blur. A beautiful blur, but nonetheless a sort of blending of moments that I have to actively dissect in order to see the details. Call it growing older, call it life in an age of oversaturated information and choices, call it what you will, for me as time moves on as of late so much seems to happen and I have so few moments to simply take it all in. The work I am currently doing is an attempt to capture ideas, moments, and feelings in this morphing road map of experience through different narrative visual tools. Different types of shapes seemingly in motion freeze frames, portraits of nostalgic icons and metaphor ridden images, purely abstract painting that tackles issues I feel and see that are so immense and complex to me that I can only discuss them internally through a process of boundless movement and expressive freedom.

Armor Studies, 11/5”x9”, Ball Point Pen on Paper, 2020

A lot of the work has been smaller pieces on paper or found objects that notate personal realizations about society, my own journey of slow awakening and growth, continuing to be in acceptance of life on life’s terms as I become more set in my ways so to speak, power systems and their effects on the people they seem to contain, honoring roots and forces of creative metaphysical energy in a world that becomes increasingly contained on a screen, the deconstruction of my own privilege digging deeper into accepting truths of where I am from and honoring people who were blighted, letting go of the armor of ego and the shadows of survival mechanisms wrought and taught in ignorance and misguided notions of success and fear. It is all there. It is all so hard to explain, yet we all feel it all the time even if we are not aware of it. It is that awareness I hope to transmit through my work, my own growing awareness and possibly ways of presenting my own journey that opens someone else eyes in new ways. I just want to keep learning, exploring, creating, and being honest with myself and the world I am a part of.

Time Study (Shadowplay), 20”x16”, Mixed Media on Found Paper, 2020.

Tides, Mixed Media Assemblage, 2019

Untitled (Armor Studies) 30”x22”, Mixed Media on Paper, 2020

2019 brought a sense of fluidity into perspective that was very much needed. Rather than a year partitioned by single huge or climactic events, it was more of a constant trudge through experiences, work, and responsibilities that continued to challenge and elevate. I can’t much talk about politics of our age anymore (as they are incredibly frustrating and negative, but that is not to say that I retreat from trying to be a force of good in the world) but to say that, as I have read more of history this last year, the feudal systems of empires created by the Romans and later the Monotheistic rooted empires that have dominated history since Rome adopted Christianity have not ceased to enact pretty much the same sort of subjugation through ideals, fears, and patriarchal power for over 2000 years. It all seems like a blur now because in honesty, while we seem to think that so much has changed, often it is just the actors and the terms that have changed, the inherent way in which human greed for power supports the structures that have been in place for thousands of years does not change (or it does but then repeats itself, time is a flat circle lol), and continues to become even more engrained. So I choose to act where I can, observe, and simply record my own experience through my art whether it be in realization of these tethers of history, of the beauty that exists within the world at all times despite humanity’s inherent conflict with itself, or even that that conflict breeds so much that is amazing and moves in so many different directions. Awe is not always a question of morality.

Homeless Camp, Photograph, West Oakland, 2019

One thing that last year brought into focus for me is a renewed passion for challenging myself and my practice to find my voice in ways that really considered intention in my output. Having to be back and forth on a constant basis from the East Coast to the West Coast to show up for my mother’s Alzheimers gave me a certain amount of time and forced me to process intense moments of emotional upheaval and internal processing, which lead me to find comfort in certain aspects of my childhood and formative years. This revisiting opened my eyes to certain realities of those times which I have come to understand in my work in sobriety and therapy, spiritual and psychological work, taking me to a place of being able to understand why certain things gave me and give me a sense of comfort and stasis. This has allowed me to let go of preconceived notions of their importance in society and history and really dig into history to understand the realities of where these icons and concepts come from, many of which are born in darkness, born in a very conflicted and often ethically questionable circumstance. Understanding the duality of being human has given me the opportunity to consider my own attachments to relics of misguided ideas that so many in society hold onto, and continue to heal from a deeper place of connection within. A lot of this seemingly abstract conversation will become more tightened up and understandable in my upcoming show in Raleigh NC with Anchorlight Gallery. My continuing Armor Studies series has been a big gateway for this dive into history, intention, connection, and realization, and I will be showing a large portion of this work at that exhibition in June of this year.

The Great Disruption, 4’x5’, Mixed Media on Wood Panel, 2020

The Story of Now, wip, 2020

Knight in Blemished Armor (Public Servant?) 4’x5’, Graphite on Found Drywall, 2020

Now that you have made your way through the flow of words and thoughts that describe my reality of late, I appreciate you stopping by. I am in the midst of work for my summer show, a residency coming up at Duke in which I will be creating a site specific environmental piece of art, and then another residency in the summer in Oakland. Busy times busy times, Full of new struggles, new accomplishments, lonely moments as well as times of beautiful community and team work. I am going to give 2020 the best go I have in me, and also try to not burn the candle at both ends in the process. One thing that adulthood, or rather becoming more aware of my responsibility to myself and others to stay healthy, connected, and sane, has given me is the gift of saying “thats enough for now, I need to reflect and be gentle so that I can be right sized in where this is all going”. That in and of itself gives me the power to burn that midnight oil with intention and strength and acceptance when it’s necessary, because sometimes that is needed in life and not just art making.

Thank you for reading and for all of your support. In closing, the below photo is of something new that is coming that I cannot wait to announce to everyone!!!. It will also be part of this summer show at Anchorlight, and is in the works of becoming an ongoing series. See you again soon.

Soon to be disclosed dance powerhouse on a hand made reclaimed wood assemblage panel. 2020

Untitled October 4th 2018

There is a lot to be done on this evolving website. A lot of new changes to be made and projects to be reshot and new visions to be posted. A lot is on the horizon including a show in Durham, North Carolina in two weeks titled Anime Mixtape at Runaway. Here is some artwork that is in the show… we’ll catch up soon you and I. -Felix

The Destination of Clarity

All the worlds a stage, A giant hot dog stand yelling forward to come get a deal, A 24 Hour Target milked to gills with red and white hallways of product juice,

All the world knows that our fundamental flaw is our own obsession with self destruction,

All the world also knows that we are creatures of emotion who's evolution has not caught up with our ignorance. 

I like to focus on the clarity of the journey and admit my moments of blind ambition,

It's a power when ambition and right sized attitudes can keep creating things that don't fuck us up anymore than we already are. It's a deeper power when those things lead us through a life that works to elevate to a level of clarity that stimulates fulfillment.

Print Release, Monday 03/19/2018, Noon, Light Power

I am releasing two prints with House of Roulx today at noon (eastern standard time). Two of my favorite works from my catalogue, Goddess and Grow Forward. There are 10 Hand Embellished Variants of Goddess, signed and numbered, 12 Standard Signed and Numbered prints of Grow Forward, and 3 more Hand Embellished Variants of Grow Forward also signed and numbered. These two pieces were both breakthrough works, and this print release is no different. I look forward to doing more and more of these as my work continues to grow. If you enjoy my work and are able, please do grab these prints as they are very limited and full of life and new energy.

The link to purchase at noon, 03/19/2018, est is ...

https://www.houseofroulx.com/collections/john-felix-arnold-iii

Time Bandit

So I am going to continue to make myself write a piece and pair it with images. I have been thinking a lot lately about the temporal nature of existence against the reality that change is constant but our energy is infinite, I believe at least.

Portrait of Julie Moon, shot by John Felix Arnold III, 2013

The Worm

A rhythmic writhing inside of the bellies of time,

The hunger growling's of a soul devoid of the acknowledgment of it's need to explore,

Gaining momentum as clarity becomes the gateway for an onslaught of beauty,

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as the worm collects itself at intervals inside of my soul and the center of my chest,

The preparation for the compulsion become drive become open hearted connection,

The table of bounty strewn forth in shifting moments,

But still the pulsing energy of the worm,

Still the omnipresent power of creation finds its avenue from freneticism to calm fusion,

A see through shear cloth, pierced nipples and a smile of exhibitionist glee,

open to the fireworks of inspiration,

Smiles of clock blocking stop time and let the worm weave itself into itself,

I rip my stomach out and embrace the worm as my mind rises from my skull and fuses with the starry night sky,

Rising off the tarmac to greet the next challenge and find the next thread of raw power.

Winding Through Darkness, Nude Portrait, John Felix Arnold III, 2015

W.I,P.

SFO Beginnings, Journeys and Expansions

The light of the universe that is always streaming through everything is something that we sometimes have the good fortune of noticing. I am sitting here in SFO right now, as I have many times. I am sitting here in SFO right now, listening to an AA speaker tape, getting grounded, watching all the people talk, and get settled into their seats with their books and devices. I am sitting here in SFO enjoying the reality that I am surrounded by people from all walks of life and culture and backgrounds all co-habitating a space where there is no time, where no one is (despite buying power for seat class) better than one another, where babies cry, where kids laugh, where lovers kiss, where hungry people hope to find something healthy or satisfying to eat, where people in transit are forced to be in a moment of respite and await the next traveling appendage. 

I have spent a lot of time in airports throughout my life. My father and mother are both professional dancers and I was hoisted up in the air often as a child. We flew to distant lands in the west and the east. I was given the gift of a certain brand of patience on Singapore Airlines when I was 7, as I was locked into a 14 hour flight as a rambunctious child.  Throughout my life, all of these airport memories have created a beautiful narrative of safety, exploration, serenity, inspiration, and the excitement of new experience as well as experience of coming home to the many places where the word "home" has meaning. When I was coming to terms with my alcoholism and was in early recovery when relapse was a chronic, near death issue I experienced the fear of what would happen in airports.  The reality of detoxing in airports, being kicked out for my inability to stop drinking, the pain and agony of craving and not being allowed to drink on flights, helped me truly drive home the reality that I am an alcoholic and begin to accept this fact. And since I was given the gift of sobriety, every time I have been in an airport has been filled with the gratitude of being able to be a part of the world, being on the broad highway of the universe, being able to be sober and full of awareness and be so ready to embark on the expansion of this life I get to live.   Again here in SFO, I am getting ready to find myself with a group of artists in the LA area working on a massive 8 story mural. Then to "home" in North Carolina to celebrate the continuing life of my amazing Grandmother.  I am ready to watch the sunset on the Atlantic ocean, connect with family, and smell the fresh North Carolina air.  Then to NYC to connect with deep old friends and find new platforms for creation and collaboration. Then overseas to destinations to soon be disclosed.

I have learned that there is not one moment or place or experience that sets life for the rest of it. I have learned that it is about constant progress, constant reflection, maintenance, and innovation in life, about doing what is healthy and right sized, about making mistakes on the way and accepting and being grateful for them and the lessons we learn. Every time I am in this airport or any airport, I feel the web of inter-connectedness of all things and beings as we move in our paths in and out of and through and with each others narratives and streams of life. The convergence that happens in the airport to me, always reminds me that I am just a human amongst humans, that my problems and successes are no different than others. Here I can just be at peace knowing who I am amongst this beautiful melee of shifting trajectories. Here I can have a moment to find direction in my mind and assess what needs to happen in a very clear state upon arrival.

So I am sitting here in SFO, being reminded of all of these moments in my life that I have found this point. The last couple months of painting, and drawing, and networking, and client work, and meetings and learning have led to this launch. I haven't been posting very much about what is coming up. I have been focussing on some personal things, clearing out some cobwebs of the soul, finding where the direction I am best suited for and hope for will take me. I have been putting forth the work to connect without exhausting myself as I have done in the past. In short there are projects coming up in NC, NYC, and even some possible painting and  excitement in Thailand after this summer has ended. There is some talk going on in Chicago and possibly St. Louis. But my eyes and my being are embracing new directions that are helping me expand my abilities and vision beyond galleries and the fine art world, but yet enriching my ability and purpose within those realms as well.  I am in a rebirth of a certain kind, my practice has grown and as I sit here in SFO I cannot wait to give it to you all in the world and continue to be a part of the conversation we all are involved in together.